44.) Bodega Cats

If you don't know what a "bodega" is, they are basically gas stations that don't sell gas. Sometimes called "delis" or "grocery stores," bodegas are everywhere, nearly one per block. They sell snacks, drinks, cigarettes, and sometimes sandwiches.

One thing that I discovered about bodegas which I found interesting was the presence of a cat in many of them. I don't really know where the cats come from, but it's no uncommon to see one sleeping on a shelf, or rubbing on your leg as you pay. I imagine they are just feral cats that one day wandering in and found a home. They are surprisingly friendly most of the time, and rarely fear humans.

So, when you go to buy your daily supply of Mountain Dew and Slim-Jims, don't be surprised if you get yourself a feline visitor. 

Written By Joe Lankheet
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43.) Fleet Week

Fleet Week, a magical week in late May when every girl and gay man with a uniform fetish gets to enjoy the city suddenly crawling with Marines, Sailors, and Coast Guard... people. A military tradition since 1935, military ships stationed overseas come to NY, dock, and allow a bunch of horny, young men (and women) to roam our fine city.

Why is this interesting? Because in NYC, it's like Halloween, but sluttier. The gays and gals of New York allow themselves this one week to having meaningless sex with random members of our fine military, with seemingly little remorse. They "claim" they just like getting free drinks from lonely sailors, and "talking" because New York men "lack chivalry," but we all know what you're up to. It's like a straight man saying he goes to a strip club just because strippers are superior conversationalists to average women.

Anyways, when you decide to get off your thrown of lies, come to NYC and enjoy spending some quality time with the best the U.S. Military has to offer.

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Written By Joe Lankheet
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42.) Lack Of Children

A friend and I were discussing this the other day, then I heard another person mention it a few weeks later: there are like no kids in Manhattan! I mean, there are god-damn babies everywhere. The sidewalk is littered with SUV-size strollers. But as soon as children hit the age of about 4, they suddenly disappear, and don't return until they're 15 and fully capable of pestering subway riders.

I guess it comes down to the city not being a very kid-friendly place. It's loud, chaotic, dirty, and full of drunks and drug addicts. Trust me, Sesame Street is way off (beyond the whole talking puppet part). Even for an adult, the only reason we tolerate most of this shit is for the culture, food, and night-life. Without those things, New York must feel like a hellish nightmare for tiny people just learning how the world works. I mean, obviously there ARE kids in New York, we just can't seem to be able to find them. Their parents must lock them up in their apartments for 11 years after seeing Kids, desperately hoping Harmony Korine got at least some of that wrong.

So, I really can't answer where the hell they are. Maybe Bloomberg put them to work on the 2nd Avenue line...

Written By Joe Lankheet
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