42.) Lack Of Children

A friend and I were discussing this the other day, then I heard another person mention it a few weeks later: there are like no kids in Manhattan! I mean, there are god-damn babies everywhere. The sidewalk is littered with SUV-size strollers. But as soon as children hit the age of about 4, they suddenly disappear, and don't return until they're 15 and fully capable of pestering subway riders.

I guess it comes down to the city not being a very kid-friendly place. It's loud, chaotic, dirty, and full of drunks and drug addicts. Trust me, Sesame Street is way off (beyond the whole talking puppet part). Even for an adult, the only reason we tolerate most of this shit is for the culture, food, and night-life. Without those things, New York must feel like a hellish nightmare for tiny people just learning how the world works. I mean, obviously there ARE kids in New York, we just can't seem to be able to find them. Their parents must lock them up in their apartments for 11 years after seeing Kids, desperately hoping Harmony Korine got at least some of that wrong.

So, I really can't answer where the hell they are. Maybe Bloomberg put them to work on the 2nd Avenue line...

Written By Joe Lankheet
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