27.) We Value Our Space

"You don't know what you have until it's gone." This tragic cliche applies very well to NYC. I don't think people truly appreciate personal space, and really, why should they? Practically anywhere else in the world, personal space is in abundance. But when you put 8 million people on 468 square miles of land, suddenly that space disappears (in case you're wondering, that's 0.0000585 square miles per person).

So, how do we compensate? Make everything smaller. The first thing to go is bathroom space. Why the bathroom? My only theory is that it's the one room we spend the least amount of time in. In my shower at my apartment, I don't even have enough room to stand completely straight forward. I have to stand slightly askew, or else my shoulders get jammed up against the sides. At my old apartment, you had to put the toilet seat up just to shut the door.

As you can see, New Yorkers value any space we can find. I was riding the subway the other day, which wasn't very crowded, when a very attractive woman boarded and proceeded to basically stand right in the gap between my legs. With every bump of the train, she would press up against my thighs. In all other circumstances, I think any man would love exactly what was happening to me, but, in all honesty, I was just pissed off. Does she have serious boundary issues? Why can't she just stand where there's plenty of space. Is she just stupid? It exemplified fairly well every New Yorkers need for every small amount of space they can get.

By Joe Lankheet