26.) Subway Platforms Are Unbearable During The Summer

Whenever I complain about how hot it gets in the city, I consistently am one-upped by someone from somewhere else. "Yeah? Well, in [insert place], it's like a 105 degrees!" True, but in [insert place] do you spend a significant amount of your time in a giant humidor?

That's exactly what a NYC subway platform feels like - a giant, underground humidor, if humidors were filled with rats and sweaty homeless people. Platforms are far underground, devoid of any fresh or moving air. They're also disgustingly dank, and when the heat hits, that disgusting subway water/rat piss becomes sticky, wet humidity. In more popular stations, you're surrounded by thousands of other sweaty people, all exuding their own personal heat.

No one's happy. We all stare at each other with disdain for existing and creating more heat. It's extremely unpleasant, but you have no option but to just stand there, completely still, desperately waiting for that big, beautiful subterranean rickshaw to come to your rescue. Once aboard, everything will be just fine and dandy - that is, until some psychopath starts CLIPPING HIS GODDAMN NAILS!

By Joe Lankheet