41.) Subway Missionaries

One thing that a big city breeds is crazy people, and New York is swimming in them. One of the most enjoyable of the crazy people is the subway missionary. These are people have decided to dedicate their lives to wandering from car to car, yelling about the end of the world. No disrespect to missionaries in general, but I didn't know how else to classify these nut jobs.

I don't know what it takes for a person to go from "I love Jesus, yes I do. I love Jesus, who 'bout you?" to "the end of the world is near, and you're all burning in hell." I'm sure it has something to do with everyone in New Yorker being one accidental elbow bump away from an emotional breakdown. I guess these subterranean apostles choose bothering commuters as their emotional outlet. I'm sure in their minds they're doing the lord's work, and who am I to argue? But most days I'm just not in the mood to be told I'm going to hell (call me crazy).

Sometimes they're quiet, and just hand you a pretty, little pamphlet (which is usually splattered in crazy), and sometimes they're in your face with laminated signs, but either way, they will find you, and, God as my witness, they will annoy the hell out of you.

P.S. Jesus, if you're real, I'm sorry for this article. But do me a favor, and tell these people to knock it off. I'm trying to read.

**That is an actual picture I took of a guy with laminated signs. I wasn't lying about those. 

Written By Joe Lankheet
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